Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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