Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
