Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
