3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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