Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
