CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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