All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
