I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
