he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
