i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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