their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
