Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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