but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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