A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize