Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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