I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize