does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
