Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
