Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
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i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
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I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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