I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize