sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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