Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize