she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
