remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Randomize
