I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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