Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize