next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
