Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
