Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
