I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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