i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
