A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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