The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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