Your tits are I can't wait for
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
