Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize