So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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