Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize
