Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize