I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
