Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize