Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
