Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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