I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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