Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
How does it feel to date your dad?