This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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