A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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