curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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