Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
