she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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