im holly from the hills drunk
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
