He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
