Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
