now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
