ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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