I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
