ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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