i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Randomize
