Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I wish I only lived at night.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
