So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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