wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
organizing the empties. That sober.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
