I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize