I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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