meet me or not, i'm out of control
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
